The wife warns the husband; ‘I don’t care about your condition, you can’t leave the sword of comfort in MY CHAIR.’ AITA?

When this woman is fed up with her husband’s anxiety, she asks the Internet:

“THE MOTHER who told my husband not to leave his comfort sword on my seat?”

Yes, I know how it sounds, but there is no other way to say it. I (34 F) have been married to my husband (32 M) for about two years, together for five. The man has serious anxiety.

He is on medication for it and it is doing great. He went from three panic attacks a month to one every three months. Taking medication was his idea and I fully supported him. But it’s not a miracle cure, and he still has a lot of anxiety.

I have to travel out of town for work every now and then, usually just for a night or two. We have a couch in our living room where we sit together and watch TV/cuddle before bed. Every time I leave for a business trip and come home, I sit in my seat only to scream and jump up.

The man has one of those wooden kendo swords (because we’re stupid, not that we’re accomplished swordsmen) and apparently when I’m gone, he keeps it with him.

I asked him why, and he said it’s for protection. He gets scared when he is alone in the house, thinking that someone will break in. He knows it’s unlikely and also that a wooden sword won’t do much against a serious home invader, but it makes him feel better, and you can reason with the anxiety.

I said, “That’s totally fine, I understand, but do you need it during the day or just at night?” He said only at night. I then pointed out that all he has to do is return it before I go home.

The man’s counterargument is that he has very severe ADHD (he does; that’s a fact), so he forgets all about the sword once the “danger” is over.

Also, I only go out of town 4 nights a year, so it’s not like this is a constant problem. I said it’s true, but also, since I don’t stay away from home often, I always forget to check the sword before I sit down.

And he could just prop it up on the couch instead of putting it on my seat. It’s not sharp – it won’t break anything. There are a million solutions here that don’t involve me sitting on a random sword.

But thanks to ADHD, it’s legitimately harder for the husband to remember things than it is for me, so maybe I should make a note to myself and call it a day. It really makes her feel better. AITA?

Let’s see what readers think:

festiqq766 write:

NTA. ADHD makes things difficult to remember, but not impossible. Just as a hint, he could create a “spot” for the sword so that when he didn’t need it, it would sit there.

Then, if it wasn’t there, he could see that he left it out. This could also help so that if you got home you could easily see that the sword was “in use” so to speak.

shower6 write:

NTA – it is understandable from your side. You just need to have a shared calendar where you make an event/reminder for both of you to remove the sword on the day of your arrival lol

fecratuy write:

NTA. A disturbed person with a gun. Yes, this is not a recipe for disaster.

What do you think of the OP’s dilemma?