Dear Annie: You told a reader to call doctors by their last name until invited otherwise. Your writer had called the doctor by name on the first visit. Had she never been to a doctor before? No one should think this is appropriate!
This is a formal, professional relationship and a measure of respect is needed. This is not a casual friendly relationship, but one of immense importance and confidentiality, and absolutely requires the separation of the doctor-patient relationship. It’s not, “Let’s be friends” on the first visit.
Yes, a friendly relationship can develop, but over many years and with mutual respect. I would think that in college this patient called their professors “Dr. So and so, but she doesn’t understand how to call her doctor?
The health care setting has many providers, such as nurse practitioners, physician assistants, and physical therapists. It is important to understand who is providing your care and the expectations of that provider’s role, which includes using the term doctor or nurse, or, if the provider prefers only one name, informing the patient of that preference.
If the doctor says, “Hello, I’m Dr. Franconia,” the patient should use Dr. Franconia. It really is that simple. — Doctor for 30 years
Dear Doctor for 30 years: Thank you for your letter. Several other physicians wrote expressing similar sentiments, including this one:
Dear Annie. Thanks for your thoughtful response to “Just Wondering,” who was confused when her doctor told her it was inappropriate to call her by her first name.
I disagree with one thing. I have been a doctor for 39 years and would NEVER refer to an adult patient by their name unless they specifically invited me to use it. The patient error was embarrassing. The doctor was rude. — Manners matter
Manners Matter Girlfriend: I love how you signed your letter and couldn’t agree more with you that manners matter.
Dear Annie: For more than 50 years, I have enjoyed advice columns. Never before today have I felt compelled to write. Your response to “Just Wondering” asking about calling her doctor by her name was disappointing. Where is the young doctor’s respect for her patients? If young doctors expect others to address them as doctors out of professional respect, they should address older patients like Mr. or ladies for personal respect.
This is a formality that is often ignored today, but when others expect formality, they must respond. — Respected patient
Dear Respected Patient: Thank you for your insight. It’s really a variation of the golden rule, treat others as you want to be treated.
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